Trials and Tribulations

Soooo.... every time that I would pass a milestone in my life I would feel like I failed at it again. 

Growing up I felt like my life, my purpose, was so much bigger than the life I saw people living around me.  So I adapted.  I dimmed my light.  I settled into the Matrix life, holding society's indoctrinations as my compass like below:

I thought I would reach succes when meeting my first boyfriend, I didn't.  

When my girl Britney became instafamous over wanting to be hit by her baby one more time, she was around my age rubbing it in (in my than mindset) that I was extremely incapable and clueless as I didn't have her succes by that same age.  Nope, you're eyes are not fooling you.  You are indeed correct. I REALLY just said that my 18 year old self held a celebs' instasucces as a criterion for my own self worth.    

I thought my life would begin after graduation.  It didn't.  That it would begin after I found a job and guess what?  It didn't.  That it would settle when my kids were born and it a.b.s.o.l.u.t.e.l.y. didn't.  

But what I never ever thought is that through standing still by each experience, by trying to learn from all the encountered hardships of life thusfar, that finally, I'm reaching inwards and I'm finding my core.  I'm rising from the ashes and guess what?  You better put on your safety goggles as my light will be BLINDING you now.

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