Official Videoclip Liquid Love

Loverssss!!! Our official video clip of Liquid Love is out on YouTube right now! A Liquid Love EP will be followed on June 18th on Spotify and all streaming platforms as well... But for now: please enjoy and never EVERRRRR forget: you are pure and liquid love...

Unconditional Love

You trusted but got hurt

you threatened but still stayed

he promised but acted same

could not get away

you loved him way too much

truth is, baby girl,

the only 'love' in this narrative

was you not giving it to yóurself enough.

There is and never will there be

such a thing as unconditional love

only rules and demands we speak of

there is and never will there be

such a thing as unconditional love 

It is never to be expected from a lover

the truest love, the one without conditions,

is only to be found in the heart of a mother.

I am therefore I know. 

 

XOXO

MotherHustler

Love

Love is the answer.

Always.

Love, love, love. 

If you give love, you'll receive love.

It can not be any other way.

Never.

Do love and love will come back to you.

If in doubt: love.

Always.

Love, love, love. 

I love you.

XOXO MotherHustler 

Liquid Love Lyrics

Lovers,

Today we released my most precious baby: my ode to each and every one of you.  

Breathe, relax... You are LIQUID LOVE. 

The essence of your presence...

The magic of your existance...

You are a fire tower...

Listen close to my words, my precious ones:

Inside you resides the power that can create worlds.

(You all are created by the power that created galaxies so that same power resides in you as well!!!)

And if worried sometimes:

Flow, vibe, float, let go...

Breathe, relax... Nothing is under controle.

Girls and boys: you are omnipotent!!! You are celestial! 

You are... Liquid Love.

Spotify Link Liquid Love

Now available on all streaming platforms!

Sofie 

Sex is Us

Sex is spiritual

Sex is sacred 

Sex is everything

To the embraced

Sex is receiving

Sex is living

Sex is to love

Sex is healing 

Sex needs to grow

It takes time to truly show

The depth of one's feelings 

The limitlessness of our beings

How ever far we might drift apart

Sex brings us always back to our heart

And if by our words far we will stray

from each other

Sex will forever bring us back together

No matter what you and I will ever say

Our love will forever be here to stay

Our hearts are forever youth

in our embrace lays the only truth.

Sofie 

(Gustav Klimt, The Kiss)

Special Editioooonnn!!

The end of an annum, what better way to celebrate than to bring out a special edition of our favourite song?  No better way, I tell you.  :-)

If you got an 8D supporting headset than we made a little somethin'-somethin' for you: our Land Of The Brave now also in 8D on YouTube and coming soon on all streaming platforms.

Enjoy!!

XOXO,

MotherHustler

  

'No Gold' - For Sammy

Every day you wake up, feasting on the talents that overflow your cup

You got it from the cradle, from the mobile to the turning table

The system can’t seduce you, making music is what you do,

Every minute in the studio

Bread can not stay bare, you need to put yourself out there

Find the milk to make the butter, built a castle from the gutter

Too much fish swim in the sea, how on earth will they see:

You are a goddamn’ prodigy

You go out, you play the game, contact all to make a name

Try your hardest, all in vain, without connection there’s no gain

They want to sign you, suck you up, 

Take your art, spike your cup

Welcome to the business:

dagger in the back, poison on the lips

Radios spin your work in thousandfold

but all that glitters 

ain’t really 

No Gold

MotherHustler

Best Friends

Sitting in the car

8 minutes before curfew

Lovers are scarce

Friends are few

Boyfriends are whenever

But you, girls, 

I can count on forever 

Xoxo

MotherHustler 

The Absolute Truth (lyrics)

Per your kind request, here the lyrics of our newest:

'The Absolute Truth'

Now on Spotify, Itunes and all streaming platforms 💖

There is this need much more than ever to feel connected But the more we seem to long The greater seems the division Now we are In the Holocene extinction Water is no longer blue water is colouring crimson Is this the absolute truth The absolute truth They have spread a virus To eliminate or separate us But we choose Love over indoctrination We choose Love over the power hungry imagination Bad news gets depicted To keep our tender soul restricted They want to keep us all addicted Is this the absolute truth The absolute truth Is this the absolute truth The absolute truth But for every bad thing that gets depicted A thousand more things happened where love and beauty were being gifted Let’s throw away all propaganda Let’s make our own, authentic, good news agenda All is one and one is all peace on earth for everyone One is all and all is one love and hugs for everyone

Harmony

At ten I go to bed

so early in the morning 

I can do the yoga 

and than the med

In the day I watch Dispenza

in the evening I do some Chopra

I help strangers and kin

I hold a too fragile heart within

I live for the writing,

for the kids I am mothering

Every day I'm at the gym

Enhancing my serotonin 

Fall is my favourite season

Funny dog pics make me smiling

In the weekends I go dancing

love the music, love the drinking

and il sesso and the kissing

I can stunt and be blunt

be a very irrational cunt

sometimes.

So you say you want a relationship

OK, but this is me, no censorship.

XOXO

MotherHustler 

Still - Out Now

 "...and even today, now, cowardness is making victims, still."

Still - Out Now on YouTube, other platforms coming soon.  Headphones sweetly recommended. 

Together

There was this man

Standing in the current

Caught between two banks

Didn’t have the courage

To put foot

on either side of land

 

His spirit weighted down

by heavy grains of sand

Couldn’t follow his heart

It was long ago ripped apart

 

There was this beautiful naiad

Who in every hand had

A very sweet medicine

For every man who fell within

Dark and troubled water

She tried to save them like a lover

Being a sister, a friend, a mother

Gave away all that was inside of her

So she drowned

Lifeless at the bottom

Spirit found her

turned mud into blossom

Blue coloured green

nymph became Queen

She is now receiving

all she has been giving

For the very fist time

She is not other's

She is mine 

💗💗💗

MotherHustler 

 

 

MotherHustler

The Law of Dharma

Hola! Que tal? :)

A little word about our project Sophia Evangelista:

A passionate heart advocating for love, peace, equality and (self) empowerment.

A spoken word and musical experience that proves to be sometimes ambient, occasionally hardcore, frequently sweet, from time to time harsh but forever ever authentic.

We invite you to let her be who you'd like her to be and to let her touch you with her words, to let her move you with her music and if she doesn't than allow her to be trivial to you. 

Just experience her, exactly as you are. 

"Alis volat propriis"

Our next project 'Still' will be published on YouTube mid October, again about the atrocities in America, and then mid November we will be releasing our project 'Power To Us' about how we perceive our current government.  Mid December there will be 'Just Like Atlantis' how we will end up just like the sunken city if we don't act now and after that I think we'll be putting out some vintage acid sound inspired projects but we'll see.

Enjoy your day 💖

Peace to you, peace to all,

Love you mucho,

Sofie 

We

Is it alien-like?

To stay loving

To stay kind?

To hold a piece in your heart

For everyone who has walked

Bits and pieces of your path

Who for a while held your hand

Kissed you through a road bend...

Who tried to heal you but who could not mend

The wounds inside to which you did not tend

You thought it was their imperfections

That led you to the trials and tribulations

Of that what they call Love

But it's actually yourself

you need to rise above

I want to let go

Say it isn't so

Not still thinking 

Of all who made my heart melting

I know

For a fact 

The best 

Is yet to come

All I need to do

Is make the past 

Over and done

XOXO

MotherHustler

Peace of Mind Means Strength Inside

We all are so different

so try to understand instead

One can only find ease and balance

when others aren't perceived as a challenge

no more

Only if with others we stop struggling

we will be able to find peace within

✌❤

MOTHERHUSTLER

Happy

I used to write my art

made it really, really dark

But now I'm kind of happy

Fucking up but not judging me

Only lessons and blessings to see

The roots that are grounding my tree

Growing and glowing

No matter the wind blowing

Grateful for this life

For the ease and the strife

For the gift of breath

For the seed of the heartbeat

That is called 'Love'

Food for the soul

For me that is enough

MotherHustler

I See You

Of a human's touch 

I will never ever get enough 

I could love all damn day

Wasting time and sheets away

Two became one

Just because I felt lonesome

So I gave in uncontrolled

because I just needed to be hold

But this one night stand

would've never happened if I knew beforehand

Now I feel quite ashamed

that I trusted but got played

You didn't even care for my name 💔

that just felt soooo insane!

I never did this before

And now I never will anymore

It's just not worth it when intentions don't seem pure

I never thaught of us getting married 

But isn't there so much more between love and being rejected?

At least we could've stayed connected

I'm a little bit upset

I expected a little more respect

More warmth like when you were laying in my bed

Peace and love is all I preach

Maybe I should practice what I teach 

But things can get so challenging

When people touch spots hurting

Maybe my texts subliminally felt like a threat

But they were authentically me so I don't regret

Maybe you felt cool boasting about it to your brothers

maybe it was I who caused all your actions 

as according to the books on my shelf

all you do to others you really do to yourself

I truly hope someone is holding you close

That someone is seeing through your show

That someone is healing the hurt that makes you act like this 

That someone is blessing you with the most tender kiss,

heals your past,

fills your future with love and bliss

I know I shouldn't judge

and definitely not hold a grudge

we all are different

so I try to understand instead

One can only find ease and balance

when others aren't perceived as a challenge

no more

Only if with others we stop struggling

we will be able to find peace within

💖

Sofie

Indian Summer

Indian Summer

My most faithful lover

I'm overflowing

when soaked in your golden colours 

Indian Summer

My most favourite lover

All I am and All I know

Is me being here and now

bathing in your magical glow

💓

MotherHustler

Power To Us

There’s this need

much more than ever

to feel connected

But the more we  seem to long

The greater seems the division

Now we are 

in the Holocene extinction

Water is no longer blue

water is colouring crimson

Is this the absolute truth

Or is this merely

The government's vision

as they tend to think about others

made in their own image

They have spread a virus

to eliminate or separate us

But we choose Love over indoctrination

We choose Love over the power hungry imagination

Bad news gets depicted

to keep our tender soul restricted

they want to keep us all addicted

to mistrust and feeling vindictive 

but for every bad thing that gets depicted 

a thousand more things happened where love and beauty were being gifted 

Let’s throw away all propaganda

Let’s make our own, authentic, good news agenda

We hear you, Authority

But listen close and don’t let us be misunderstood

We will stand for each other

We will stand for our planet 

Because most people are just so beautifully good

 

We hear you, Authority

but we will not take defeat

we will love with every single heartbeat

We will stand tall and will not falter

All your hate will not alter

The purity of our intentions, of our words 

As inside each and every one of us

Resides the Power that can create worlds

All is one and one is all

peace on earth for everyone

One is all and all is one

love and hugs for everyone

Love

I am not the first

I am not the only one

Why is the heart so cursed

Why can't this universal pain be undone

You are not the first

You are not the only one

I think we'll all burst

If love for each other we keep on having none

MotherHustler

 

Liquid Love

You are liquid love

if you can't feel that

you are just cut off

Acting on earthly constructs

By ego’s lust for controle

But my beautiful one

You just gotta, gotta let go

Don't force, just flow

 

It’s OK

 

You do not have to be perfect

No outcome to expect 

just godda radically accept

 

You are liquid love

And if you don’t feel it flow

Go inward and than let go

You were born complete

So beautiful and sweet 

No need to compete

You are more than good enough

you are and will always be

Pure and Liquid Love

 

You are liquid love

You are made from all that is beneath

You are made from all that is above

You are liquid love

You are liquid love

what magic is made of

your being, your essence

the fluorescence of your existance

Your soul is like a fire tower

inside you resides the power

listen closley to my words

inside you resides the power to create worlds

inside you resides the power

Flow, vibe, float, let go

Breath, relax

nothing is under controle

A peaceful mind is a creative one 

you are the stars, you are the sun 

be calm, be free

you create your own reality

Sofie

Be Safe With Me

Roar, my hurt one

Roar...

Roar in the midst of your darkness

Roar beneath the stench of your burning flesh

Rage, my treasured one

Rage...

Rage in the comfort of this home

Rage in the embrace of this heart

Be welcome, my troubled one

Be welcome

Let my compass guide your radar

Let me hold you as you are

Be loved, my sweet one

Be loved

Let the storm bare all your branches

Let me rise you from all your ashes 

Be you, my sacred one

Be you

You can softly release and surrender

My love is pure

My love is true 

Sofie 

Land Of The Brave

 Coming Soon... 

I am BEYOND excited!! BEYOND.

Dying Star

Flickering 

Glittering

Shimmering

All through the darkest of darks

Even the limp 

seem to find the sparks

Especially the limp

Radiating rays

on every skin

into every abyss

no matter the sin

Flashing

Glistening 

Giving

To all and beyond

but never

ever

to her within

MotherHustler

 

The Giver

You're a dreamer

an unapologetic non believer

soaring high

for your low was steeper

You walk this earth

stones turned

leave your lips dirt

you wash your mouth

you heal the hurt

you're not shaken 

you're just stirred

 

In turmoil 

you fall deeper

than you rise

deny the hate

become

love's greatest keeper

You walk further

softer, kinder

You cry

you shout

you fight

You surrender

You radiate

You keep hush

of all of your acts

of sincere forgiveness

XOXO,

MotherHustler

The Writer 1

Brain strained

thoughts pained

fingers ticking

on a square framed

a rectangular container 

for the passions

of the writer

The core of beliefs

the skipping of beats

the obsidian of griefs 

all there

in the artistry

Rejections shame

diminishes flame

self blame

Pieces made

characters named

fear tamed

one day 

critically acclaimed

MotherHustler

I Still...

Everything happens for a reason
and if it didn't teach you
you missed the lesson

Like caterpillars we are
some will crawl
some will fly
rainbow far

I am floating
I am Love
as below
so above

Riding the waves
of life's vibrations
giving wholehaertedly in
falling in and out of connections

Falling down
standing up again
Adjusting my crown
honouring myself
honouring my men

I gave a lot
took a bit more
but my soul
was always yours

An experience shared
beating of hearts fared
on the ticks of time
you gave me yours
I gave you mine

Warmed by your warmth
my fury hushed
by your calmth

You've done wrong
I did too
You Are Beautiful
I still love
I still pray for you

💖

MotherHustler

Seasons

Every season of one's life
has its own soundtrack
it comes with a peculiar scent
it's our own
and after we forget the struggle
we don't put it out for rent
it makes up our today
we only remember the good
the bad we wipe away
under the mat we step on
the witness of our soles
prints of where we came from
the patchwork of our souls

MotherHustler

Delirium

I can finally see how

I’ve always put myself down

Always settled for something less

Weak was the flesh...

That’s in the past

Now I long

For someone

To call me beautiful

Again

A lover

A best friend

Listening to Division

Dreaming of a collision

Of bodies

Hearts writing stories

together

Wandering souls

who harbour homes

for each other

No longer to wonder

No longer to hunger

for crumbs

but carelessly bathing

in love and understanding

in peace and in unity

from ego we’d be set free

my lover and me

we would rise above society’s

limited thinking

loyal to drinking

the potion of truth

nothing to exclude

from the contract unspoken

no promises would be broken

as we would not claim

each other’s aim

in life

Equally we would stand
Honouring the unique prints
Of each other's hands

I would cherish

The past would perish

Now I'm smiling

awaiting your arrival...

Sofie 

Still

'All lives matter'
'He probably deserved it'
leaves me with a stutter
you just go on
like the dear ain't getting murdered
grocery shopping, drinking coffee
careless, like no tears are falling from a mother
who just lost a son and a brother
to a society wholly rotten

a mother who's ancestors lived in beautiful tribes
solely sold because of the colour of their hides
shipped to an unkown country
welcomed by a life unworthy
labouring every day
used and abused without any pay
their broken backs built the American Dream
pockets filled but humanity nowhere to be seen
labeled inferior by those who cower
who's cruelties needed cover
gorgeous people diabolised against there will
that alters your being, gets under your skin
and even today now
with all the books and films and documentation
cowardness is making victims still

Tell me my sweet baby
when did you pass the mirror
saw yourself, gasped in terror
touched the cold of the glass
didn't recognize yourself
which day and hour did you loose your innocence
brutally taken by a world that doesn't make sense
when exactly could you no longer see
the divine beauty that resides inside of you
but started to trust the lies of society...
So if you're standing at the door
Please do come in
Cuz' ignorance isn't welcomed anymore
We all bleed red despite the colour of our skin.








MotherHustler

Land Of The Brave

Conceived by a black panther
daddy unknown he's a phantom
little boy innocent
but innocence here will get you killed
so you dry your tears, you tough up
clench your fists, belt a Glock
you have to swim or you will sink
another dead homie just got inked
on the scars of your bulleted body
if only God could judge
no life would ever be unworthy

This thug life experience
is the government's indifference
so you take a book lift up your pen
rhyme the words in order to tell
the hoods are authorities' waste bin
Liquor and guns available on every corner
cops munchin' whilst you kill each other
they won't stop until no colour is left
jailing you yet they get away with life theft

Muzzle off, you're breaking the silence
spitting words like an urban counselor,
tried to shoot you but they missed
loaded your songs for poetic justice

'disrespecting' says the supremacist settler state
but a newborn child doesn't feel no hate
it looks at the world with loving eyes
but good don't pay and so it dies

With the rising comes the fame
now all G's know your name
honest weight crushes sensitive toes
once your friends now they're foes
even you now are hating
but that hate got you wasting
and the homies you could trust
made you do time cuz of their lust
too caught up to stand up
just a boy at the gates of manhood

For your community you came through
couldn't have that so they smoked you
now it's 2020 and we got Beats
but still they treat all like beasts
I see the news and its killing me
in the land of the brave none are free

MotherHustler

Twijfel

Het is dus crisis.  Volgens de media 'Corona' crisis.  OK.  Kan.  Kan ook niet.
Naar mijn bescheiden gevoel en opinie leven we al in crisis sinds de cognitieve revolutie maar dat kan ook aan mij liggen natuurlijk.

Wie zal het allemaal zeggen?
Ik weet niet wie het zal zeggen.
Wat ik wél weet is hoe ik me voel.
Ik weet het en ik zal het zeggen.
Ik zal het zeggen in de woorden van Georges Bataille die ik onlangs in een biografie over Picasso las:

'Een tragische twijfel aan de ogenschijnlijke realiteit van het zichtbare universum.'

XOXO
MotherHustler

(Sun)Flower Boy

I looked up
expecting your dad
but I hit your eyes
instead

The blow
blasting our lusts
but I wasn't looking
for sex,
I am that conditioned one,
looking for trust
instead

So I left things be

I drove by later
you were
bringing out
the papers
not too sure
if you saw me too
but I sure as hell
noticed
that
sunflower shirt and
your new, hippie,
hairdo

After that,
I googled
the fuck out of you

But I left things be

I assume
you might
be thinking
that my best friend
was my man
when I saw
you
watching me
yesterday
standing alone
drinking
at the party
we coincidentally
were both
attending

I'd like to think
it was for me
you stayed
when I could
no longer
see
your friends

I'd like to think
your eyes
were zooming in
on my dancing
instead of
anyone else's

Fact does remain
you're young
and I'm too done
with the pain
of trying to
beat the odds
hallucinating on the
mainstream poison
making believe
that
kings and dreams
are the outcome of
underdogs

I did not even
dare to look at you
just to see
if you remembered
the girl from
two years ago

The girl whose
irises
made you trip
into
cardboard boxes

and
also because
I converted
to celibacy

So I left things be

Just sitting here
now
doing everything
to try
to not
think about...
to engage
in a
distract spree...
because I just read
that
when two people
have the same idea
it's dangerously
accelerating
the risk
of it
being catapulted
into reality

MotherHustler

Celibacy

You know me
always full of
crazy ideas
but thank you
for pointing out
the idiocy
is on them
and not
on me

After all men
said
and or
done
my intent
is entirely
gone

There is
and never
was
this missing
piece
glad to inform you
that the hazy hunt
has
finally ceased

Love is not
to be
searched for
nor
can it
be found
I have harboured
myself in celibacy
Making me feel,
for once,
substantially safe
and so
deliriously
sound

MotherHustler

Critic

If your lungs
would still
be filled
with
reddish veins
I'm sure
you would
loathe
the words
on my
computer screen

I'll take that
as a compliment
because
loads of people
didn't like you
as well

Don't be mistaken
I bore myself too
with my heart's pourings,
my inner
gushings,
my core's letters
into
useless sentences,
pure senselessness

Fortunately,
I am not
too fussed
about the critics
I even revel in
the importance
they see within
their biased opinions

It entertains me much
how most reviewers
are
master illusionists
their delusions
conjuring superiority

We are the raw,
the non decorated,
the sufferers
from
unbearable futility,
from
the idleness
of we existing,
like cuddly bears
stuffed
by acts and thoughts
we do and think
to kill time
until we're sewn up
by the needle
of the grim reeper
wishing
for the stitching
not to hurt too much

Maybe that's why
I can appreciate
even the tiniest of flies
we are all here
to survive and to try
and how one
gives meaning
to the meaningless
deserves awe
it can not be any other way
for me

Or at least I pretend to

MotherHustler

Jane

When I read Remains
of my dead best friend,
who gives me a home
with his books
but he doesn't know that,
no,
he's dead,
my heart mourns a piece
lost where the words cut
too deep
I am dead too, you see
but blind are they
as I give so warmly
where that comes from
for me too a mystery

A love selfless
I can imagine
but I can not believe
in its existence

Every time
I read Remains
every word a sting
of the cut of the knife of the word
and still
it's impossible
for me to believe in
I think for
every time
something alike
got close to me
it was like
I was handed over
a magic and restorative potion
and when I
wanted to sip
they
brutally slammed it
out of my hands
than I would watch
the fluid dripping off
the broken shards
and every time
I would try to
lick them clean
to try and get
a single drop
for at least
one of my wounds could heal
my soul got cut

So now I'm blisfully blunt
and the incisions in my body,
the cuts into my flesh
tell me
that if Jane
would be alive still
Charles
would have loved her less

MotherHustler

Cray Cray

He said he wanted to take all of me
but than he didn't
I think he underestimated my level of crazy

What does 'crazy' actually mean
when I am mostly judged by mediocre people
I find myself quite boring and uninteresting even
Actually, now I come to think of it
it looks to me
that it's actually the plain
who are mentally disabled

MotherHustler

Senseless

Last year
three
different men
told me
I was
beautiful

That year
is gone now
and I'm
by myself
still

Which is fine
I guess
because I
don't think
I will ever
be able
to control
the mess
my mind
makes
when a man
gives notion
of his emotion

Love
makes
a fool
out of
my senses
it renders
my sanity
just utterly
defenseless

MotherHustler

Absurd

How does one know
that love is true
don't you think
there's more
than one person
for you

Also
do you need someone
really
to be your rock
on the daily
for
how
could you
ever expect
that someone,
who was
totally different
wrecked,
by nature
and nurture,
could ever
become
your
significant other

Aren't
we all
better off
to annoy
and love
ourselves
instead

to take
ourselves
to bed
where lust
that lingers
can be
safely
satisfied
with fist
and/or fingers

MotherHustler

Joke

"You make

men think

you are easy"

'That's perfectly fine'

I said

they can even think

there's no one

even more sleazy

than I 

because 

the time

I cared about

what men
thought

the whole 

of my being

almost died
from drought 

If you'd like

to typecast me

just because

I have 

my mind

finally freed

than you 

are more 

than welcome to

but do take

into consideration

you might have

bitten off

more  

than you 

can chew

MotherHustler

Sober

I don't know
how I survived
the things
I went through
in life
sober

The older
I get
the clearer
the sun sets
Obedience
to archaic
ethics
long
over

I just
can't believe
I never
took the pills
or the alcohol
from excessive
beers
to
daze myself
just like
most
of my peers
do


MotherHustler

Jill

We have
been
friends
forever
and today
I realised
that you
don't
truly
know
any one
ever
as
during my
self
demeaning
rants
the love
that spoke
from your
tone
gave me
a panoramic
scope
and ice
was no longer
ice
it was
water

Water
that is
principal
for the
flowers
and the petals
and the bees
within
to continue
them

Today
I saw
and I felt
the ice
thaw

You did that.

I love you.

MotherHustler

Fraud

I'm a fraud

not one
of my
thoughts
are any
like
I would
wish

I would
like
to be
a wolf
but I'm not

I'm in a bowl
swimming rounds
I'm a
goldfish
circling away
looking through
walls of glass
at the world
trying to
make sense
of the
senseless

Thinking
I'm gold
but when
a look
is closer
hold
I'm really
not
much more
than a
boring
maelstrom whore

MotherHustler

Watch

You called me
'McGyver'
but truth
was
that I
only knew
what to do
because of
the hours spent
at the fitness
during daytime
where I
often witness
a lot of
B-movies
aired at
midday
One of them
showing a scene
that in hindsight
gave away
what to do
when you have
no clue
of how to
get rid
of humid
in your watch
when you
go swimming
just to
look at
other women
Luckily
you had me,
your girl,
naive,
who spends
her time
at the fitness
watching
B-movies
that give away
how to get rid
of humid
strayed
into
a watch
when one
goes swimming
just to
look at
other women

MotherHustler

Bukowski

At 10 PM
sitting on
my
thrift shop chair
unintentionally
devouring
Bukowski
when first
standing
in my 70's
outbuilt kitchen
with fluorescent light
shining
as accidentally
on
my painted hair

I actually
wanted to go
to bed
when I opened
the cardboard
I thought
a sticker held
for my son's
wall
which he broke
when he tried
to stand tall
before me,
his mommy,
who had accused him
falsely

Instead
it carried
two books
I ordered
of writers
already dead

I opened
both of them
reading
the words
printed
on dead stem

I was standing
because I really
wanted to go
to bed
than, curiosity,
took overhand

I was standing
now I'm sitting
letting
Bukowski's poetry
hit me

Rain and wind
raging
over the roof
against the bricks
of my 70's
outbuilt kitchen
I put the book down
and find myself thinking:
What would Charles feel
if he would see this girl
with no balls like him
made of steel
page turning his work
realising
she's
even more
stuck
now she has tasted
how awfully dull
her being is wasted

MotherHustler

I wish

I wish
my heart
would be
more simple
that the love
it feels
at the start
could
later on
be
rekindled

I wish
conveying to
the norm
wouldn't be
so hard
I wish
that life
would've left me
a little less
scarred

I wish
my courage
would be
far greater
my boundaries
less calculated
my thoughts
less complicated

I wish
my feelings
were
not so deep
my heights
less roaring
my depths
less steep

I wish
I wish
but
reality is
all these
inclinations
would kill
the genuine
truth
I hold
within

MotherHustler

Revolt

Your look
is glistening
with
closed eyes
I am listening
Your voice
is muted
still I see,
diluted,
the key
to truths
and stories
fairylike
Greek
mythologies

The whole
of my life
a question mark
With doubt
I stride
through
the sightings
of life
my only grip
the authorship
of writings
postmarked
by the lightening
of heart

Your look
is glistening
with
closed eyes
I am listening
to a path
unfolding
no more
secrets
it's holding

In your gaze
I feel like
the core
is precised,
love
is life sized
and
narration
revolutionized

MotherHustler

Candid

Very much
obliged to
estranged
expectancies
restrains me
very hard
every day
to obey
my tendencies

We
all know
life has
its own way
and that
tomorrow is
not granted
so
the challenge
does remain:
shall I
keep doing
what others say
or shall I,
for once,
live a life
more candid

MotherHustler

Hello, it's me.

Ok.  So.  I just can't wrap my head around everything that is going on nowadays.

Like, at times where the food was wholesome, soil was not polluted, air was still fresh, people had life expectancies of (only) 40 years. (If they were not brutally murdered that is, as politics were pretty lawless back than (not more than they are today obviously but the cruelty of politicians today are more subtle and go by mostly unnoticed by us priviliged, white, Iphone loving, heterosexuals.))
This day and age however, where everything is poisonous, we live to be a hundred albeit in a constant mindset of near apocalypse physically as well as mentally.

I look outside and in and everything seems to be so simple, yet it proves to be all so hard.

The constant reaching for balance is so damn hard if you want to respect others, organisms, yourself,...  I want to honour myself but I can't seem to succeed as honouring myself is honouring others and the environment and I dón't honour others and the environment as I'm taking my car everyday to a job instead of living on a self-sustaining animal shelter farm and as with taking a stand for myself I also hurt other individuals sometimes which is also disconcerning to me as the least I want to do is to make people uncomfortable which actually means I hold others' feelings and opinions higher than my own, which obviously is detrimental for my own image and appreciation of self.  Sigh.
I want to live a lifestyle which is kind to our planet yet I've proven to be unable to resist the capitalistic lure.... I want to speak up about all injustices that are happening all over the world but I feel guilty about not researching enough in order for me to know of ALL injustices... Like the war in Syria is utterly heart wrenching but I'm sure there are wars elsewhere evenly appalling for that matter.  I want to help desperately but what do I do instead? I just order another book online in the safe surroundings of my home.  I want to educate myself and I want to know everything there is to know about all philosophies, all politics, all art,... but than I think what's the use as the human race, the human psyche, is just here as a result of a coincidental assembly of events so all our sub cultural habits and heritages just don't mean anything if you look up to the perpetual galaxy where we literally disappear in.

I want to live my dream of expressing myself creatively every day and getting credit for that but I'm not digging into the depths of my abilities as I'm addicted to movies and docu's about/of other creative artists instead of dedicating that time to my own expressions and I also can't seem to shake off all beliefs and dogma's, that I've come to find, hinder my potential.

The same beliefs and dogma's and indoctrinations that keep me from being the mom I want to be.  Whenever I get tired or a little upset I WANT to calm down and take a few minutes before I act but I don't and find myself shouting every harsh and bitter word my mother ever said to me...  The same words that broke me, the same words which were so deeply catapulted into my brain that made me the uncredited person I am today.

I want to live healthy but what does it mean to have a healthy diet when I'm over sensitive, over thinking everything and disillusioned all the time.  I guess cortisol will harm my DNA much worse than some excess sweets or lack of sports.
What does it mean to live healthy when I have breast cancer genetics?
What does it mean to eat healthy if I buy nutritious foods in plastics that kill so many creatures in our oceans?  To eat 'super foods' which came here by aviation, a business partly responsible for the demise of our planet.
What does it mean if I, as an individual, minimize my own waste and bend backwards to try and help prevent earth's 6th mass extinction if most pollution is caused by only a few industries that politics refuse to shut down because of their insatiable thirst for money anyway?
Devastated how Homo Sapiens are killing the planet but than also contemplating how we are nature's own creation so doesn't that mean that our planet is just killing itself and therefore is it OK for me to eradicate the consuming guilt I feel?
I want to be loved and accepted unconditionally yet I'm setting all these conditions for others.
I want my friends to have substantial content to convey yet I hear myself babbling on sometimes about things that have no depth whatsoever.
I judge people on what I think they should or shouldn't do whilst who da fok am I to even THINK I'm allowed to do that... Acting all 'chief judge' on all beings whilst I have done some more than questionable things myself.
I give tough love to all my howling, heart broken friends when I, myself, am on a constant search for a pair of arms to hold me forever.
I preach to my daughter and her girlfriends that they are pretty just the way they are whilst I'm in the shower shaving and picking out a dress that accentuates my legs...
I'm so confused by times.  Too confused.  Sometimes I find my happiness in being in my little mini garden with my kids just laughing and hugging but how shallow that happiness is when you know these little gorgeous people will get their hearts broken one day and there will be nothing, absolutely nothing you can do to less or erase that pain.  You know you are going to suffer because they will be suffering and your words and deeds will prove to be totally helpless.  You know you're going to suffer as people will be genetically altered or advanced in the future and what if my offspring might not have the financial means to jump on that train.
I grief my great grandchildren who need to leave this dead planet but don't have the money or connections to get a seat on the Let's-Branch-Out-Our-Destructive-Ways Spaceship.  I worry for them succumbing to thirst because of an umteenth natural crisis...  What if they won't have the money to buy potable water?

What good is that temporary little shallow joy in our backyard as you know World War II atrocities, which we are still crying over today, are still very much alive and happening only a few thousand kilometers away...  It's all so very much confusing and it constantly gives me the feeling of being not good enough.  Of being not good enough for my family and friends, not good enough to all species, not good enough to our planet, not good enough to myself.

I just don't know sometimes.  I just know how extremely inept I am.

MotherHustler

Vincent

Out there displaying

the opposite

of what is playing 

inside

So as a magnet

you're attracting

lifeless creatures

human dyed 

you, the lawyer,

appeal for me

to be 

your counselor

seeking my advice

and although

it is my honour

it comes

with a price:

you'd have to stop 

trying to be

To attract the top

there's nothing left

but Authenticity

MotherHustler